The third day of the twelfth lunar month

I poked at the dishes in front of me with my chopsticks, picking and choosing according to etiquette. Someone like me should be subject to criticism and reproach; however, Liu Xiu, sitting across from me, remained oblivious, not even raising an eyebrow.

Feng Yi was also among this group of people, but his temperament was indifferent; he preferred to distance himself from the commotion, sitting alone under a secluded tree, lost in his own thoughts. Ma Wu still maintained his lively and carefree demeanor, while Zhu Hu, Deng Chen, Li Tong... one familiar face after another greeted me. Gradually, I diluted the sorrow in my heart, and my stiff limbs began to loosen up, allowing me to finally manage a few words of jest with these old friends

Dressed in tight garments, even if I deliberately tried to pretend to be blind, I could not completely ignore the slightly bulging abdomen beneath those snow-white hands. She seemed to sense it, her face slightly flushed, and slowly bent down, gathering her skirts as she gracefully bowed to me, saying, "I, Sheng Tong, pay my respects to Sister Yin."

I have long been accustomed to his sharp tongue but soft heart attitude: "Where is the elder brother?"

His chin rested between my neck, and his warm breath brushed against my temples. Suddenly, I felt a sense of despondency and gently pushed him away, saying indifferently, "Your Majesty, please return. This humble servant wishes to be alone for a while."

He did not enter the palace

A year ago, he was still a novice who felt quite awkward even with kissing, often shy under my deliberate teasing; a year later, as a father, he has become so adept at igniting my desire with such passion.

The seemingly bustling Western Palace is, in fact, deathly silent, with the palace attendants not daring to breathe a word.

"Mother... Mother..." The child, with a round face and a head like a tiger, opened his small mouth to reveal four tiny front teeth. His features were well-proportioned, and his eyebrows and eyes bore a striking resemblance to Liu Yan. His speech was still unclear, and after diving into Guo Shengtong's embrace, he mumbled something unintelligible, tugging at her clothing with his small hands, lowering his head as if to bite.

I was both anxious and angry: "Are you itching for a beating? Have you made great progress in your skills over the past two years, which is why your words have become increasingly disrespectful?" After a pause, I couldn't help but lament sadly, "You have never called me 'sister' properly from childhood to now, and now you can only falsely refer to me as 'noble'? Noble... noble... what a prestigious title indeed.

I could not help but mockingly say, "This lowly servant does not recall ever residing in the Warm Bright Hall, so how could anything have fallen in Handan?"

"Noble ones do not wear many garments, it is cold at night." He wore a serious expression, seeming both angry and displeased

Outside the palace

Liu Xiu tilted his head, and the palace attendant beside him immediately understood, bowing and retreating to the outside of the hall. After a brief moment, he hurriedly turned back.

The weather is cold and the ground is frozen; although the snow on the road has been cleared, passing under the tree shade, one might inadvertently shake off the snow accumulated on the branches. Fortunately, having drunk some wine earlier, my cheeks are cold, but my stomach is warm. Liu Xiu carefully leads the way, stumbling through the dimness. Suddenly, I have a strong desire to just keep walking like this, forever... without an end

Your Majesty has three thousand concubines in the harem, why must you make things difficult for such a humble noblewoman as me?

He is different from me! Truly different!

I remained silent, and he did not find his conversation dull or awkward. He continued to laugh and said, "When the capital was moved to Luoyang, I had someone bring some items from Handan, they are your belongings..."

The atmosphere was eerily cold, and suddenly the sound of drums and music echoed from the front hall. At first, it did not seem significant, but as the sound of the drums grew louder, it became particularly raucous in the stillness of the night

"Have both princesses been settled properly?" I did not turn around, merely asking in a淡淡的 manner.

I am filled with sorrow. He was not wrong; he strongly resisted marrying the Guo family, and it was I, with my own hands, who pushed him towards Wang Liu Yang of Zhen Ding, pushing him towards the Guo family.

I stared at him in a daze, suddenly feeling a sharp pain in my heart. The delicate features before me became at times clear and at times blurred, memories vividly resurfacing, yet everything had long since changed beyond recognition.

I forced a smile, my mind blank, no longer knowing how to continue her words. Just then, a sudden childish voice shouted from the side: "Your Highness—"

Now, my husband is not merely a nobleman

My chest heaved up and down with excitement, my cheeks burned like a raging fire. Liu Xiu's gentle eyes held an unquenched desire, as I steadied myself with one hand on the railing and raised the other, harshly rubbing the back of my hand against my swollen lips.

"There is no need for you to be overly courteous, Guo Guiren." At that moment, the gentle voice beside me suddenly pierced my ears, becoming exceptionally harsh.

Uncertain whether it was my eyes playing tricks on me or the influence of psychological effects, as the youth rose, his gaze seemed to intentionally, yet inadvertently, sweep past me. The clarity of his eyes, reminiscent of an autumn breeze under a clear moon, suddenly shifted. The smile that curved at the corners of his lips, seemingly gentle, abruptly resembled the grin of a demon, fierce and terrifying

"Marrying the Guo family was not my original intention. You cannot hold this against me, Lihua; it is not fair to me." He suddenly raised his voice, and his urgent demeanor made it hard to believe that these words came from the usually composed Jianwu Emperor

I wish this journey would never end, yet ultimately, it can only be a foolish notion born of fantasy. When the blazing bonfire scorches my eyes, when the entire court of civil and military officials gathers, when the masked figure holds a spear, leading the twelve divine generals, dancing joyfully around the bonfire, and when the beautiful silhouette, standing gracefully against the wind amidst the crowd that resembles stars surrounding the moon, appears before me, I realize that all my fantasies have finally shattered.

"As a family of the imperial in-laws, it should be this way." His gaze pierced through the crowd, landing on Liu Xiu, who was presiding over the grand ceremony in the distance. "Now that we are involved with the royal family, we must act according to the rules. It is better not to indulge in too many trivial matters for the time being."

With his long arms outstretched, he embraced me, spreading his cloak wide and wrapping me within it. His embrace was so warm that it was intoxicating; I was slightly tipsy, my steps unsteady and faltering, relying entirely on his chest for support, almost being half-held and half-carried by him as we moved forward.

"Xiuer..." I murmured absentmindedly, my eyelids lowered.

Having envisioned Guo Shengtong's appearance countless times in my mind, I never expected her to be such a woman, still bearing a hint of childishness, as if she were still a young child, yet occasionally revealing the unique charm of a mature woman.

I was taken aback and slowly turned around, only to find Yin Xing respectfully kneeling on the ground in reverence

Guo Shengtong turned around upon hearing the voice and joyfully exclaimed, "How come Qiang'er is also here?"

The body behind me suddenly stiffened, remaining motionless for a long time, yet he still held onto me tightly without letting go

My whole body is stiff and rigid, and what burns in my chest is the fiery aroma of alcohol, mixed with the tears I cannot cry or release, all pressed down in my heart

He gently stroked the back of my hand with his palm and gave it a light pat, yet said nothing at all

How can one blame him? It is tempting to question him unreasonably: since he is unwilling to accept Guo Shengtong, why then does he indulge in a passionate relationship with her and father a child... Yet, the words linger on the tip of the tongue, ultimately swallowed back down.

The entire Nangu Palace, although it has many halls, cannot compare in scale and grandeur to the Chang'an's Changle Palace. However, the Changxin Palace within the Changle Palace did not confine me, yet will the small West Palace within the Nangu Palace confine me for a lifetime

I was suddenly taken aback, Guo Zhu—mother of Guo Shengtong, sister of Wang Liu Yang of Zhen Ding!

As we stepped out, seven or eight little palace maids held lanterns, tiptoeing lightly, their footsteps silent on the ground. The tiles of the corridor were difficult to distinguish between light and shadow, and in the distance, the eaves of the towers loomed faintly. The night was quiet and serene, and Liu Xiu firmly held my hand, guiding me step by step forward

"Trust me... Lihua, trust me..."

I turned my head away, forcing myself to harden my heart, making every effort to ignore his pained expression: "Your Majesty, I am merely a lowly noblewoman, why must Your Majesty..."

Although I am somewhat intoxicated, my mind is not muddled. Under normal circumstances, I might have gone along with his wishes and pretended not to understand anything. However, at this moment, a surge of resentment is pent up in my chest, and it is difficult to feel at ease without expressing it. Thus, I shakily rise from my seat and say, "Of course I must go and see! His Majesty is dining in this humble palace of mine, yet I wonder who is presiding over the grand sacrificial ceremony outside?"

The dinner gathering was exceptionally dull, and it was only when I began to feel a slight discomfort in my stomach that I realized I had unknowingly drunk too much. I slightly shifted my body; although I was not completely disoriented, my head did feel somewhat dizzy

"Do you not think that this is perhaps being overly cautious? Is it really necessary to last a lifetime like this?"

The West Palace is not unfamiliar to me. When Liu Xuan was in Luoyang, Zhao Ji first entered the palace as a lady and took residence in this palace. Unexpectedly, as fate would have it, two years later, the master of this palace has changed to me

I have a heart full of questions, wondering if the esteemed Guo Shengtong resides in the Changqiu Palace, yet the words always linger on the tip of my tongue, unable to be spoken, only to evoke a sense of sadness and pain. Amber is calling a group of young palace maids to clean the palace and organize the luggage, while I lazily lean on the railing, gazing down.

He blinked, a flash of pain crossing his face: "Are you deliberately trying to provoke me? What is the point of this... what is the point..."

His lips have slid down my jaw, kissing my neck, and the tingling sensation feels as if I have inhaled opium, leaving me in a daze with an addictive obsession that draws me deeper, willingly intoxicated. I admit that this intoxicating feeling captivates me, yet the thorn that pierces my heart becomes even sharper due to his deeper movements, causing me to bleed profusely.

Not far away, Yin Xing and Guo Kuang were casually chatting, both appearing polite and courteous, seemingly friendly, yet their demeanor was superficial, insincere to the utmost degree. After a short while, Yin Xing and Guo Kuang parted ways, and then Yin Xing strolled over to me nonchalantly.

Yin Xing did not respond immediately, instead he made a couple of noncommittal sounds and said in a deep voice, "Since Lord Guo has not yet appeared, why the need to rush to see elder brother?"

Dazed and speechless, I stared blankly at him, and the feeling of heartache deepened little by little

- - - - - - - - - - -

Unintentionally, I reached out and wrapped my hand around his arm. He seemed to sense it, lowering his head in surprise. I could not help but lean into him. Liu Xiu's embrace... After he removed the ornate ceremonial robe embroidered with the twelve chapters, it was still the faint fragrance I was familiar with, just like before

Not only that, he is different from others. Others may marry and experience affection or neglect, indulgence or infatuation, which leads to frequent replacements of old faces with new ones. Only he... he is a man who is responsible to his family and loves his relatives, and has always been this way... Therefore, even though he reluctantly married the Guo family in the past, it was ultimately a legitimate marriage. Regardless of the reasons, he will never abandon her in this lifetime.

I turned my head and no longer paid attention

I broke free from Liu Xiu's embrace and stared blankly at the elegantly approaching woman in splendid attire. Her hair was styled high, her neck long and graceful, with red lips and delicate eyebrows. The interplay of moonlight and firelight illuminated her fair and radiant face, as if coated with a layer of silver. She was slightly shorter than I, with a uniquely delicate and slender frame, making her appear even more charming. Although she wore a thick snow mink coat due to the cold, her shoulders still looked slender, and her figure was soft, swaying gracefully with each step.

My shoulder was suddenly twisted by him, the movement so swift that it left me momentarily dizzy. A sharp pain struck my lips, as his lips descended upon me like a tempest, his stubble pricking my skin. I attempted to push him away, but his tongue had already pried open my lips, teasingly slipping into my mouth

A fragile heart has long been numbed by pain; no matter how many thousands of cuts I endure, I will not feel more pain than I do now

Your Majesty, the hour of Zi has passed, and the palace is in pursuit of the Nuo performance

Yin Xing let out a cold smile and said, "It seems that the esteemed person still needs to use their brain a bit more. Always saying such things is quite worrisome."

Is this man to be my support for the rest of my life

I pinched my palm with my nails, feeling as if my heart was in turmoil, completely unaware of what this sensation was.

"Your servant humbly greets Your Majesty! Noble Consort Yin!" The young man suddenly knelt down and respectfully performed a grand salute

"Still so fond of drinking." The person across from me leaned in a bit closer, and I squinted my eyes. The smile on his face looked very familiar, with his eyelids curved and the corners of his mouth raised, gentle yet slightly indulgent. "Soon you'll be complaining about a headache again."

"Good little boy..." Guo Shengtong said with a smile as he gently pried open the child's small hand, "It's so late, why aren't you asleep yet?"

He sighed helplessly and said, "I have already had someone arrange the items in the side hall. When you have some free time, go take a look; indeed... they are your belongings"

I inexplicably shivered, and just as I was in a state of hesitation, a clear voice suddenly rang out from behind me: "Commoner Xing pays his respects to Your Majesty! To Lady Guo! To Lady Yin! To Deputy Minister Guo!"

My mind was momentarily clouded, and I nearly lost control, getting lost in his sweet and passionate kiss. However, after years of separation, the sudden surge of enthusiasm and the skillful teasing caught me off guard, sending a chill down my spine.

"Oh, that is truly lively." Liu Xiu raised his eyebrows slightly, and although he was still smiling, I keenly sensed a hint of displeasure in his expression. "Would Lihua like to go and take a look?"

I let out a sigh, a faint white mist escaping my lips: "Thank you." He should be able to understand what I am grateful for; had it not been for his timely assistance just now, I would surely have been driven mad on the spot by the Guo siblings.

In an instant, it felt as if my heart had been completely emptied, leaving an emptiness where nothing remained

"Trust me! Lihua, you trust me..." He held my hand tightly, as if trying to convey an inexplicable thought to me. However, my heart felt as if it had drifted into an endless expanse, unable to comprehend or touch his inner feelings

Liu Xiu paused, glanced back at me, and a fleeting look of surprise flashed in his eyes

In her eyes, it seemed that only Liu Xiu existed, her watery phoenix eyes filled with tender affection and laughter. As she gracefully approached with her delicate steps, her gaze shifted and fixed upon me.

It is no wonder that he is surprised; had it been the old me, I would have likely been just a silly girl who was purely excited and eager to follow him to see the commotion. He is surprised, but is it because he has noticed my change, my sharpness and acuity?

He extended his hand towards me, and I neither resisted nor struggled, allowing him to hold it with an indifferent expression. His palm was covered with rough calluses, yet they were no longer the calluses formed from years of farming and tilling the land, but rather the thick calluses developed from years of wielding swords and knives.

With a dazed smile, my steps came to a halt, and there we were, gazing at each other from more than two zhang apart. It was not exactly hostility, but rather an inexplicable sadness and an unshakeable sense of oppression. I felt dizzy, as if a hand were tightly gripping my neck, making it impossible for me to breathe.

A pair of warm hands slipped under my armpits from behind, gently embracing me and pressing against that familiar yet unfamiliar chest, causing me to tremble

I silently chuckled in my heart, that such innocent and unblemished youthfulness, no one can return to it

He held me tightly in his arms, tears silently soaking his shoulder

There is no turning back! There is no turning back!

I bit my lip and resolutely refused, saying: "Your Majesty, please forgive me. This humble servant's words were offensive, and it was truly unintentional. However, I am not feeling well today and am unable to serve you in bed. I kindly request that Your Majesty relocate..."

I stared blankly, as the deep black shadow gradually became clearer, and colors returned to my pupils. Liu Xiu was reaching out to block Guo Shengtong, who was about to kneel, and helped her up. The gentle smile that was once like water was now as vividly imprinted on that familiar face as it was yesterday, but... it was no longer a warm smile directed at me

It is not that I do not want to trust him, but even if I did, what difference would it make? What I desire and what he can offer are completely two different things

Raising my head, I find myself at a loss for words

Among those ministers, I do not recognize only a small portion; the majority are either veterans who followed Liu Xiu in his northern campaigns or old acquaintances from Luoyang. When these individuals saw me, they all wore expressions of joy. Although they maintained some decorum in the palace during the day, at this moment, they could not help but surround me, asking numerous questions and expressing their concerns.

That young and beautiful face, with its glances and turns, always carries a clean and pure smile, a smile that is innocent, unblemished, and also one that makes the heart tremble and break

I was pierced by his every word and sentence, leaving me with no room to evade or hide. I could only sorrowfully gaze at the sparks dancing in the sky above the imperial city, sighing in despair: "I will calm down properly, think clearly about what I should do, what I should choose, and what I should abandon..."

The young man stood up, his gaze pure and innocent, with a face that bore a striking resemblance to Guo Shengtong, about sixty to seventy percent alike. A realization dawned upon me, and I felt an increasing sense of desolation. In just a brief moment, it was as if I had witnessed everything that was meant to be seen, a complete experience of both heaven and earth.

Hmm

Liu Xiu did not stop him and calmly accepted his greeting. I had become as rigid as stone, unable to move even a finger, and thus inexplicably followed suit in accepting his greeting.

Liu Xiu kept adding dishes to my bowl, while I only focused on pouring and drinking from my wine jug. Now that he is esteemed as the emperor, it is only natural for him to stay in the palace of a noble; there is nothing inappropriate about it. I cannot drive him away, so I have decided to ignore him

"Ugh!" I exerted all my strength and forcefully pushed him away

A handsome young man hurriedly approached, holding a baby who had not yet reached the age of one. Before Guo Shengtong could extend his hand to receive the child, the young man had already proactively and swiftly handed the baby over.

"There are not three thousand palace maids in this palace! Perhaps there were in the past, but I... will not have any." Those clear eyes, as pure as water. I have not gazed into those eyes for a long... long time

The young wife in the boudoir knows not of sorrow, as she adorns herself on the emerald tower in the spring day. Suddenly, she sees the color of the willows at the roadside, regretting that she urged her husband to seek a title... Ha ha, ha ha ha... I laughed bitterly, tears falling drop by drop with the sound of laughter

"Your Excellency is too emotional. In the past, my elder brother often praised you for your courage and wisdom, yet little did he know where your great talents and strategies have been applied today". He maintained a very humble demeanor, appearing to outsiders as merely a conversation between siblings, with no impropriety. No one would suspect that his sharp tongue left no room for others.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." She smiled gently, rising gracefully, while the maid beside her hurriedly and carefully steadied her. "Sister Yin has worked hard all the way here. Today happens to be the day of the winter solstice, so the palace has prepared a Nuo dance to ward off evil and drive away misfortune, which can also be seen as a way to welcome Sister Yin."

He is Liu Xiu! A figure who lived two thousand years ago, how can his thoughts and ideals embody such a concept of consistency? How can I impose such moral standards upon him, to constrain him, to criticize him, or even to insult him?

It is impossible to turn back time to two thousand years later, nor can it be reversed to two years ago. If it were possible, I would not have chosen to let him cross the river and head north. I truly would not... I would rather live in obscurity with him, farming in the countryside, silently accompanying each other for a lifetime, leading a simple married life, than to endure the current helpless and heart-wrenching silence between us.

Liu Xiu granted Yin Xing a favor, and followed closely behind him. The ministers who had originally been watching the lively mask dance with great interest began to gather around, turning the previously quiet corner into an exceptionally lively scene

I cannot help but feel perplexed, overwhelmed by a sense of melancholy and anxiety regarding such a future. The map on my back has been destroyed, and the hope of returning home, as mentioned by Cai Shaogong, may have already vanished. I truly cannot imagine how the coming decades will be spent, seemingly destined to be consumed within this lifeless imperial palace

Before me lies a scene of deep blackness: the pitch-black night sky, the dark palace, the shadowy figures... I can no longer see anything clearly; there is no light around, and everything has fallen into endless darkness. In the darkness, I can feel Guo Shengtong kneeling before me, and the last remaining thread of rationality tells me that I should suppress my trembling and reach out to help her up, yet I am unable to move.

"Is it not the wish of the noble to return here?" He withdrew his gaze, casting a cold and indifferent glance at me, yet his eyes were sharp as a blade. "If the noble does not wish to stay, there is no need to go through such trouble."

The West Palace, Zhengnan, is none other than the Changqiu Palace. From the window, although it is separated by several dozen zhang, one can still clearly see the elegantly curved eaves of the Changqiu Palace.